Striking television writers delivered David Letterman’s Top 10 list, “Demands of the Striking Writers,” on his show Wednesday:
10. “Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer” — Tim Carvell, from “The Daily Show.”
9. “No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines” — Laura Krafft, from “The Colbert Report.”
8. “Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester” — Melissa Salmons, writer for daytime TV.
7. “Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for” — Warren Leight, writer for “Law & Order: Criminal Intent.”
6. “No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier” — Jay Katsir, from “The Colbert Report.”
5. “I’d like a date with a woman” — Steve Bodow, from “The Daily Show.”
4. “Hazard pay for breaking up fights on ‘The View”’ — from writer and director Nora Ephron.
3. “I’m no accountant, but instead of us getting 4 cents for a $20 DVD, how about we get $20 for a 4-cent DVD?” — Gina Johnfrido of “Law & Order.”
2. “I don’t have a joke. I just want to remind everyone that we’re on strike, so none of us are responsible for this lame list” — Chris Albers from Conan O’Brien’s “Late Night.”
1. “Producers must immediately remove their heads from their —–” — author Alan Zwiebel.
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Does anyone really care? We just want the dumb strike over. Writers should be paid, and we prefer they be paid well, so that the good writers stay on and keep making the better shows.
I love #1. Damn straight! Give the writers the money they deserve already!