The Simpleton Life, Starring Big Bird and Matchstick

We’ve obtained the exclusive image of the Simple Life Goes To Camp promo poster before it was heavily altered in Photoshop. According to a source, problems plagued the set. Paris Hilton kept flashing her privates because she thought the film crew was the paparazzi. Each time she did this, crabs seemed to emerge from….well, we’re not sure where they came from and quite frankly we don’t want to know. Originally, Brandon Greasy Bear Davis was hired to carry the boat over the water, but a pack of orphaned bear cubs kept following him and he had to be removed from the photo. Tinkerbell threw herself overboard in a final attempt to escape from Paris’s clutches. Paris didn’t notice her dog was missing until several days later. Medium: ink on paper, digital color. Yes, there’s an uncensored version of this illustration and it’s painted in horrifying detail.

Photo retouchers had to smooth over Nicole Richie’s gaunt face and worked long hours fixing Paris Hilton’s “wonky eye”

Brandon Davis sweated profusely during the photoshoot giving him a slippery grasp. Thinking Brandon was their long lost mother, hungry bear cub orphans followed and suckled at him as he carried the boat through the water. The EPA had to be called because a strange oil slick was found in the lake after Mr. Davis emerged from the water.

[Source]