After hearing the news that Isaac Cohen spilled the beans on his mother, Sean Preston Federline phoned That Other Blog out of his high chair and offered us an exclusive interview where he spills the dirt on his mom and daddy as well. We told him we didn’t have much dough to offer, he gracefully understood and was happy to walk away with a Hickory Farms Bucket of Treats and a Poker Night gift set.
ThatOtherBlog.com: Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, where you’re from and what got you into Britney’s womb?
Sean Preston Federline:
Listen man, let’s get something straight first. We don’t pick our parents. It’s not like I had a choice, ok? A little about myself…well, contrary to that pudgy bottom tabloid queen with pink hair, I’m not slow. I’m as sharp as a tack. I’m from one night of Courvoisier and a few spleefs but don’t let that fool ya. As to how I got into my momma’s womb, I don’t know, but the bed spun so many times I thought I was going to born a compass!
ToB: How would you describe the household on a daily basis, who takes
care of you when mommy is gone?
Sean Preston Federline:
I pretty much take care of myself. My Na-Na’s never around either, and my Pa-Paw used to run some hot dog stand near the beach, so he aint around much either. Y’all need to think about it, mommy’s always gone, even if she’s 5 feet from me! I make a “poopoozao” in my diapers and I’m high tailing around looking for an “In The Zone” tour shirt to change into (there’s boxes left over in the garage). Momma’s not the diaper changing type. Matter of fact, if it were up to her, I’d be running around with nothing underneath at all. And speaking of which, for all those who saw mommy’s yoo hoo, no, I didn’t come out of there. I was a C-Section. (Thank god for the little things huh?). They say you have the ultimate respect for your father? Point proven on that one, end of story…
ToB: How do you feel about your mommy?
Sean Preston Federline:
Two Vodka-Cranberries and Mommy’s fine. But I’m not sure what she drinks these days.
ToB: What about your daddy?
Sean Preston Federline:
He got SO mad one day when I covered the flat screen tv in his rolling papers. That’s about as upset as I’ve seen him. Aside from the wake and bake, pop’s not a bad dude. But have you seen his other kids? Boy did I get in the right line. As you can tell from my pictures, there’s only one reason mommy likes daddy, and I may look like mommy, but I’m all daddy where it counts! Oh, did I tell you about the time I pissed in his bong? I don’t even think he knows ….
ToB: Rumors flew that you had actually fallen off your high chair, can you explain what really happened?
Sean Preston Federline:
Shit happens ya know. We were all doing Sake Bombs for breakfast, and Mommy reached for the beer..next thing you know…BOOM…flat on my back..feet in the air, and mommy screaming, “You made me spill my drink you lil fuck!”. I didn’t even know what a “fuck” was until I saw Mom and Dad making my lil brother. Jayden Jesse James Sutton Belly Button Pierce or whatever they decided to call him after that night of burrito joints….now he, he may be slow. Jury’s still out on that one.
ToB: Pictures were put out of you almost being baked alive as your mommy was taking you home in her Mini-Convertible. How did you feel when that happened?
Sean Preston Federline:
How the fuck would you feel? That’s a stupid fucking question. I was strapped in my seat and I couldn’t move. Bad enough being seen in a fucking Mini Cooper. Next.
ToB: Who sings your favorite lullaby, mommy or daddy? Can you tell us what they sing for you?
Sean Preston Federline:
Mom sings “touch of my hand” you may have heard it? Yeahhhh…shoulda left it at that mom. Maybe I could have had Brad and Angie as parents…but noooooooooo. Dad, sing? He’s coughed me a few tunes before…but I couldn’t see through the smoke to read his lips as to what the hell he was trying to sing.
ToB: What has been your fondest memory in earth so far?
Sean Preston Federline:
Coming to the realization that my millions of siblings that didn’t make it in momma’s womb (lifeless somewhere in the sheets of the Hard Rock im sure, probably headed towards e-bay), actually had it easy.
ToB: What about your most horrible experience?
Sean Preston Federline:
You’ve seen my mom’s tits lately haven’t you? Yeah. I prefer to be bottle fed, but I’d like for once to be able to ask for a bottle and not have it say “Distilled and Bottled in Lynchburg, Tennesee” on the side.
ToB: Where do you see yourself, your mom and your dad in say, 15 years?
Sean Preston Federline:
Eating gub’ment cheese and running a pop star artifact nostalgia shop/museum in Kentwood.
Disclaimer: Parody. Not a Real Article.
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how very odd
Come on Ruben…seriuosly you should not do any comedy cause your not funni you need to take some tips from the other blogs….
yea this is very odd, were u bored or somethin, or there just wasnt enough brit news so u made this crap up, i mean i was really liking your blog but know i dont know dude, i agree with gabriella get some tips from other blogs
Wow. I liked it better when you didn’t try to be funny. Should’ve stuck with Worldofbritney. I mean, I’m glad you don’t draw jizz and piss marks all over, but the comic bubbles aren’t any different. This is just the same crap as all the other blogs.
Same crap as all the other blogs? I didn’t have to look at Cisco Adlers ball sack here so it’s A-OK with me!
how profound!!!! ….lame, ruben, lame…..
at least you’ve stopped censoring out all the negative comments and have bgun to take criticism like a man….
maybe you should go back to exploiting britney for your own personal gain - that was the point of WOB, wasn’t it?
Jalissa darlin,
Put down the Barbies and smell the Starbucks.
Britney’s been exploiting the fans since day 1, that is the point of being completely fake, packaged and manufactured pop star is, isn’t it?
If lashing out at site owners because you are a gullable twit is therapeutic, feel free.
But don’t lash out at Mattel when the hair starts falling out of your Barbie because they “exploited” the fact you play with dolls.
i agree jalissa. very lame. the only reason people even know who you are is because of the PRO site you had on britney or do you not remember that? why do you have to be like everyone else in her life, trying to get their fame off of her? i have no respect for people like you.
hardly what I’d label “humorous”, but call it what you want I guess.
Wow Ruben, so mature. You have such a grudge against someone for being human. Honestly get over your self. I think drippy may be Ruben itself.
that was really stupid
Well, I don’t know about you guys- but Sean Preston has a point. Britney’s got some saggin’ baggin’ udders going on anymore. They’re no longer “tits”- they’re teats. Like, they must really miss Louisiana since she’s been out here in LA- because they’ve been trying to go back south ever since.
Uh Ruben could’ve put a somelike ’story’ on WoB too for that matter.. sometimes he just feels like making parodies; he also made parodies on WoB for those of you who obviously do not visit WoB that regurally bc otherwise you would’ve known..
However Ruben, I think you shoudlve stayed w/ WoB (or take the ‘WoB’-brand away with you). Cause WoB - though Im sure the team is putting their utmost effort into it - is just going downhill since the day you left; its kinda boring actually. Sad to see that it spoils the big reputation you built there.
Was this supposed to be funny ?
Try someone else to write for you, cause clearly you can’t do it yourself.
haha Omg lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ruben you’ve gone from somewhat resepectable in the past few months to a total piece of shit!! Its sad to see and I swear if ur all on Brit’s shit again when she drops her album your even more a fag then thought!! I just found a whole new respect for Perez Hilton!! FUCK THAT OTHER BLOG!!!! LET IT BURN!!! Brit always gets the last laugh!! So letstake bets how long before this shit ass blogs finds its way off the internet? 2 or 3 more weeks? LMAO
Wow so lame…I didn’t even finish reading. So very odd and NOT funny ay all.
Wow, I just skimmed through that. Can’t believe this is a featured article…For someone who is on the soapbox talking about how immoral hollywood is, you sure let out the vulgarity when it came to making fun of a child. This proves I guess it’s not about Britney not being a good role model or doing what is right for her fans. This is about personal hatred and anger aimed at someone you thought you could personally gain from.
I agree!!!…:)
Now that was funny. You gotta laugh at that. I don’t care who you are that’s funny right there. Have a sense of humor people!! Geez.
this was very hilarious. But at the same time why did you do it you used to run the biggest britney site in the world and now your bashing her and her family. That is not right at all
Hi
I can’t be bothered with anything these days, but shrug. I just don’t have anything to say recently.
G’night
Fucking great - never laughed so much
We want more!!!!!
alright well ruben seems to be unfair in his criticism towards britney… all he does is bash her now he’s starting to have favorites just like perez hilton
that was hilarious….her kids are going to be so effed up someday….shes a tool
hahahhaahhaah
hahahahhahahah
oh man…this sux!
why bother!!? oh jeezz..wot a waste of time! i feel sorry 4 the person who wrote this and thought it was funny.
funny how ppl can get piteous..
ahahha
ahahahha
muhahahahhahah
this is funny… c’mon
funny how ppl can get piteous..
ahahha
ahahahha
muhahahahhahah
this is funny… not this ridiculous “parody”. c’mon
Sean Preston Federline …sounds like a clothing line to me.
I thought that was sooo lame!! All people do anymore is down people when they are down on their luck. Why throw shame up on others they do wrong when we all do wrong! Don’t get me wrong Britney has really turned down the wrong path starting… with marring that prick! Fars I see she was doing great til she got with him. lol after she married him things started going down hill! the only good thing she got out of it was her babies. No she has not been a good role model on some things she has done. No one is perfect. Everyone know how gossip is,trying to make up stuff to make the story really juicey and some thing to critize about on another person…exspecially on the celeberties. They are only human just like us! We all screw up in life. Britney just needs to get ahold of herself and stay away from all the fuck ups she is partying with and fine herself again. She is not well and surely doesnt need asshole trying to drag her down even more and critize her.hasnt anyone heard of support? Its that what you would want if you were in her position? I really dont believe all the gossip that has be said about her is not all is crack up to be. Yes she has done her share and has put the spot light on her but shes not perfect she human. And dear ooo Kevin Federline is not any better! Fars Im concern hes not the rolemodel that he is trying to make his self out to be. I may be wrong but I think he is doing this to get money from Britney cause he cant provide for himself…needs to grow up and be a man and a father figure and give support to britney in her time of need and help her. *I mean…she is the mother of his children right*? At least for their childrens sake. Thats what family is all about… weather they’re together or not they still have kids to raise together and they need to be taught what family is all about and how family sticks togetherAll this court crap and tearing those kids every which way really messes up a child …insecurities ect… Its not fair to them.Also whats not fair to them is writing this stupid lame crap that I just read (Exclusive interveiw with Sean Preston Federline)No idiot should put any innocent children in the middle of a parents nasty battle! They are hurting and hearing enough bull shit.Kids are smarter than what you think. You people may think Im stupid for writing this but oooo well theres my comment :)OOOO btw LMAO I really am not a bitch….lol
I just speak what I believe in :)
One more thing I feel this way cause Im an online model on the and I have soooo many people critize me.It use to bother me but doesnt now. I laugh I think it is funny now. I know its something really lame and small compared to what I just commented on but when it involves stuff like this I have to comment on it lol
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THAT WAS AWESOME!!! I can’t wait to read your interview with Shiloh!!!! :D
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good article
Worst yet! I could have done better
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with
your smile.
Great interview… and the best: it’s real hahahaaaa
You really need to get a life - its so pathetic - the way you are wasting on…i wonder if you even like when you see yourself in the mirror anymore - a disgusting parasite living off other people’s misery
srgport
Onde está Deus;
Cada ser com vida é obra da natureza divina, é caminho da origem da imagem da criação do universo celestial.
A nossa imagem é imagem da criação é obra divina é liberdade celestial a chama de fogo a origem da criação.
Temos a liberdade porque somos a imagem de Deus, Deus é imagem da criação é chama de fogo é origem da criação.
Cada forma com vida é imagem da criação com liberdade, nós somos o testemunho da obra da criação a liberdade da imagem do universo celestial, cada forma com vida é especifica com um principio e com um fim, da sua própria espécie, mas a nossa génese a nossa verdade a nossa realidade é mais do que toda a existência, porque cada um de nós com forma de vida somos a imagem da criação a chama de fogo a origem do universo celestial.
A nossa liberdade é isso mesmo, ter a liberdade de caminhar de ser auto suficiente multiplicar-se, é esse o caminho do nosso testemunho, mostrar que somos obra da liberdade da imagem da criação a força divina celestial.
O nosso principio é imagem da criação a chama de fogo a origem do universo celestial, no caminho que percorremos damos o testemunho da nossa criação, porque somos a obra feita com vida para testemunhar a realidade da criação divina do universo celestial.
A realidade da nossa imagem é infinita, porque a nossa imagem é a imagem da criação, a liberdade individual é o sinal do testemunho vivo da nossa origem, podemos e passamos por muitas tribulações mas é esse sinal, que nos dá a liberdade de sermos nós próprios, de sermos a liberdade da imagem da criação o testemunho da realidade se cada uma forma de vida não desse testemunho da sua realidade nada fazia sentido e a existência não tinha sinal algum de testemunho era um vazio, era um universo sem cor uma imagem sem obra criadora.
Cada um de nós é obra viva, cada um de nós é imagem da criação a força da origem do universo celestial a chama de fogo a imagem da liberdade.
srgport
Sean P is the cutest little kid ever